How do the two pie charts illustrate the proportion of industrial contribution of factors to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.?

IELTS Writing Task Chart for How do the two pie charts illustrate the proportion of industrial contribution of factors to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.?

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Two pie charts compared how much contribution was provided to Turkey's economy in various

industry

Use synonyms

fields from the year 2000 to 2016.

Overall

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

healthcare and education's percentage

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

stable, the ratio of agriculture, which held the highest ratio, decreased.

This

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decrement resulted from the rise of construction, manufacturing, trade and transportation, and finance percentage combined. The agricultural sector used to be the largest contributor among all sectors, at almost one-fourth of the whole. Similar to agriculture's contribution, government and leisure's contributions

also

Linking Words

faced a 3% drop, from 12% down to 9% and from 17% down to 14% respectively.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,the 4 sector's performances have increased. With the greatest growth at 7%, construction's contribution raised from 3% to 10% in 2016. At the same time, throughout these 16 years periods, the manufacturing

industry

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

climbed from 8% to 12%. Not only the utilities and transportation sector

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

the finance and business

industry

Use synonyms

experienced the smallest growth among all contributors.

Lastly

Linking Words

, by keeping the same ratio at 17%, the healthcare

industry

Use synonyms

did not change.

purita.wFri Mar 24 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words industry with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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How do the two pie charts illustrate the proportion of industrial contribution of factors to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.?

The diagrams are the existing and proposed floor plans for the redevelopment of an art gallery. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.

Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Write a letter to show dissatisfaction after recieving bad customer service in a gym club.

In the modern world, a university education is essential in order to get a rewarding job and earn a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?