IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #time #malls #fear #influences #youths #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s life, every younger generation spends most of their
time
 going shopping
instead
 of doing homework or studying.
Therefore
, some
people
 believe that young
people
 going shopping will waste of
time
 and an unhelpful for themself and humanity. Personally, I extremely agree with using a huge amount of
time
 in malls
this
 problem has negative sides. On the one hand, it is undeniable that young
people
 go shopping so much that it leads to serious wasting of their money.
For instance
, youngsters could want to buy more new things which they have not used yet.
Thus
, they must purchase some new items to catch up with trends nowadays.
Moreover
, many companies have created a lot of products which attract youngsters
such
 as clothes and shoes.
On the other hand
, financial problems may increase for some
people
due to
 credit payments for buying things online. In a bad way, lifestyles that always run out of money because of shopping before balancing their living costs. In conclusion, each youth needs to consider using their
time
 on shopping in the best way.
Besides
, personnel should use their free
time
 for doing something good for their life. From my point of view,
people
 will find it easy to receive negative influences.
Submitted by hihihahahoho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: