Nowadays, people are spending more time away form their homes, because they spend longer in their work place. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Recently, some
people
prefer spending their
time
in their
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
rather than in their homes. It is certain that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
action has advantages and disadvantages.
Moreover
,
this
essay will discuss
about
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apply
show examples
these consequences.
Firstly
,
people
who want to improve their life
balances
Fix the agreement mistake
balance
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
should determine their priorities. It can be their
professions
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profession
show examples
or their relatives.
Nevertheless
,
people
have
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
for spending
time
with their close relatives
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
their
nucleus
Replace the word
nuclear
show examples
families. If someone is not spending enough
time
with their family, their relationship will
affected
Change the verb form
be affected
affect
show examples
negatively. Strong bonds with your family give a person lots of advantages.
For example
, they will take care of you and support
for
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apply
show examples
your efforts.
Moreover
, they may take
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
to improve the family connection too.
In contrast
,
people
can increase their annual wages
with
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by
show examples
working much. Increased income for
household
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households
show examples
makes everything affordable.
Secondly
, If
people
consider their profession prior to their relatives, negatively
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
family bonds lead to
ruin
Wrong verb form
ruining
show examples
their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
Although
people
can easily get
promotion
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promotions
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
spending longer
time
in their
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
, they have to sacrifice their precious
time
which can be
evaulated
Correct your spelling
evaluated
differently.
For instance
, many
people
have no idea about their children's dream jobs or life goals.
Moreover
, some of the parents don't sure about which grade their children are
.
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in.
show examples
Therefore
, their children hesitate to talk
their
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about their
show examples
daily problems with their parents who spent most of their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
at work. Even if they try to speak with their parents, most of the
time
they couldn't understand altogether because
they
Add a verb
arethey
werethey
show examples
already
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
tired. In conclusion, there are many disadvantages and advantages for
people
who
spending
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
more
time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
rather than in their homes.
People
should consider their priorities and understand what is important
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. Increased income can increase their total happiness, but spending enough
time
with their family can improve their family bonds.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional growth
  • networking opportunities
  • work-life imbalance
  • career advancement
  • burnout
  • strained relationships
  • physical and mental health risks
  • dedication
  • expertise
  • collaboration
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