IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #government #focus #pollution #illness #diseas
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It is thought that illness can be caused by not only environmental pollution but
also
 a homeless problem which should be focused on reducing the issues
by
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apply
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government
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the government
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. I definitely agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, being known that the hazardous gas substances
which
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apply
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NO2, CO, SO2 and PM2.5 are included have
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a negatively
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negatively
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negative
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effect
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effects
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to
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on
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human’s
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human
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 respiratory organisms.
Furthermore
, the dangerous liquids concentrated in drinking water will destroy the immunity system. Minimizing the leakages, the ministers should consider funding their budgets to prevent these concerns.
For example
, Dioxin was leaked in the US, the villagers coincidently gained
this
 toxicity which caused
a
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apply
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serious cancer afterwards. Destroying that hazardous waste was undertaken by their city mayor.
Secondly
, from
the
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apply
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Maslow’s triangle of needs,
the
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apply
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housing is one of the fundamental needs of
human
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humans
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. Supporting citizens’
on
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apply
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housing by their government
is
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apply
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not only affects on
well-being
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the well-being
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 of life but
also
reducing
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reduces
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 the
lilness
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illness
 of the population Despite promoting the mandates on those following concerns, the
fundings
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funding
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 are needed.
Nevertheless
, the turnover which is
a
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the
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 living condition of
citizen
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citizens
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 is improved,
moreover
 significantly affects positively to the
overall
 economy. To
concluded
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conclude
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, decreasing the ambient pollution in terms of
the
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apply
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hazordous
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hazardous
 leakages
together with
 promoting housing policy will positively
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be related
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related
Wrong verb form
relate
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 to the
economy
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economic
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 growth of the country. I completely agree with
statement
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the statement
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.
Submitted by thepunpunpop on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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