IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.
#production #oil
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pictorial diagram gives information about the stages which are involved in the process of producing olive oil.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are 7 complex subsequent stages in
this
Linking Words
 process, starting with picking olive fruits and finishing with storage and sale. The diagram begins when necessary olive fruits are picked by people.
Next,
Linking Words
the process commences with rinsing, which means those fruits are cleared with cold water
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the purpose of not harming them. After that, non-ready
products
Use synonyms
transferred
Add a missing verb
are transferred
show examples
 to the next stage by belt. The next thing to do is
smashing
Wrong verb form
smash
show examples
 which separated
products
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 olive
paste
Use synonyms
 and olive stones.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
olive
Add an article
the olive
show examples
paste
Use synonyms
 is bagged
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bags with holes. Once
olive
Correct article usage
the olive
show examples
paste
Use synonyms
 has been bagged, it continues with pressing. Afterwards,
olive
Add an article
the olive
show examples
paste
Use synonyms
 is separated
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two
products
Use synonyms
 including oil and water.
Then
Linking Words
, they are distributed to the markets. And the final stage involves buying ready
products
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 customers in order to eat them.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words products, paste with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harvesting
  • Ripe
  • Sorting
  • Crushing
  • Paste
  • Grinding stones
  • Steel blades
  • Pressing
  • Extraction
  • Liquids
  • Centrifuged
  • Settle
  • Purified
  • Distribution
  • Olive trees
  • Labels
What to do next:
Look at other essays: