Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
are deciding to make new friends with new
people
.In my own ,opinion it is unnecessary, and in
this
, essay I am going to provide some examples to support my view. First and foremost, one of the main causes why I am thinking that, is that
although
, with a new friend you can do more things than old,
however
, the old intimate will be upset, since, he or she will feel vexation in his or her mind. Americans,
for instance
, if they fail an exam,
for example
, and their playfellow has helped
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
them in the majority of cases, they always leave them and make new friends with other students, whose knowledge is better than theirs.
This
problem could be solved by attracting the attention of their parents, and what their children do.
Secondly
, many
people
abandon their ally
by
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if they have unconsciously strung them, in spite of their bud unconsciously stringing them, they don't care. Let's take Uzbekistan,
for example
, many
people
expect that moment when their friend will latently hurt them, scarcely they often go away from them.To tackle
this
problem, the government should train students through corporal punishment.
To sum up
, it can be seen that, there are two main causes, which support my view
such
as waiting moment to leave their mate and make
a friendship
Replace the word
friends
show examples
with wise students. In my personal ,experience unless we bring up our children's education, we will face a greater problem, which the government cannot solve.
Submitted by abrorjon_1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is weak, and the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Specific examples should be more relevant to the topic.
task response
The essay provides a partial response to the task. The ideas are not clear and comprehensive enough, and the examples do not fully support the argument. More effort is needed to address the prompt effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: