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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think physical activity should be added as a part of the school curriculum, while others say it is not necessary. discuss both views and give your opinion

Being healthy is not just an
assert
Correct your spelling
asset
show examples
 to their families but
also
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their nation. Several
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
reckon
Change the verb form
reckons
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 that physical movement
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a part of schooling,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others appeal that it is not mandatory. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 support
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the former group.
this
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 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the suggestions of both groups and will provide a logical conclusion. There are several benefits of adding physical activity
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
. Primarily, education is only for the development of our knowledge. Students with only wisdom are not going to be stronger in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future. They should do something
additionally
Linking Words
 to be healthy.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research in India shows that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of the
children's
Change noun form
children
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 who are suffering from illness
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
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 to the
top ranking
Add a hyphen
top-ranking
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 group.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, apart from acquiring skills in
theoretical
Correct article usage
the theoretical
show examples
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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,
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 should indulge students in doing some sort of outdoor activities
such
Linking Words
 as running,
jogging
Correct word choice
or jogging
show examples
.
Therefore
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, by
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 they can able to be more active in every
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are some points that
making
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not necessary.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it will provoke
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention deficit hyperactive disorder, a psychological condition that
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 mainly the toddlers which in turn
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them aggressive. perhaps, it may harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other participants.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some
learners
Change noun form
learner's
learners'
show examples
shoulder
Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
show examples
 need some rest,
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
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 of tad nap
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to regain their stamina. A child after energetic play cannot focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 what the teacher teaching. In some cases, it
Add a missing verb
is quit
show examples
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
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 different that the student
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 entangled with the situation they had and
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 on curious towards
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it which can dull their performance in studies.
Hence
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, they should be considered when
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
 them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time for play. In a nutshell,
although
Linking Words
 there are some factors
affect
Correct pronoun usage
that affect
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
child play, it is mandatory
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them to have a break.
This
Linking Words
 kind of break is for
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
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 their concentration, thinking,
alertness
Correct word choice
and alertness
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 and
also
Linking Words
to improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 their health.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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