IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#goverments #progress #people #country
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some governments argue that economical boom and
progress
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 are more important than any other
topics
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 in a country,
while
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i
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I
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 believe that other measures have the same importance . In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will explain both these
point
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points
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 of
views
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view
show examples
. financial matters are the main reason that governments prioritise economic
progress
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. All the economical
progress
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 ,like taxes, supports
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the authorities
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authorities
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authorities'
authority's
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budget
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 so
,
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apply
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 if it does not go well , politicians will face a lack of
budget
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.
Goverments
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Governments
 without enough
budget
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 can not manage their projects
such
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 as manufacturing,
constructions
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construction
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, product
producing
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production
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 and so on and that’s why, some authorities decide to get more taxes from citizens to achieve more
budget
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 as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people are of the opinion that there is a wide range of
topics
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 that has the same
important
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importance
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 as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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. For society
topics
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such
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 as
art
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, literacy, science, culture and so on are important as well.
For example
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, after the second world war most of the countries which were destroyed and damaged
as a result
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 of
war
Correct article usage
the war
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 decided to just focus on economical
progress
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 to bring the boom back to their country, on the
conterary
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contrary
, Vienna came up with a smart idea and decided to renovate its
theater
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theatre
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 and bring back the
art
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 which had been lost through the war, because they
priortised
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prioritised
prioritise
art
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 and culture to economy.
Although
Linking Words
Many
Fix capitalization
many
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 authorities presume that financial
progress
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 significantly
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
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 than other
topics
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 in a country, some individuals do not think so. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 other
topics
Use synonyms
progress
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 like literacy,
art
Use synonyms
 and science and so on are equally important as
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 development.
Submitted by adelkhoosogol on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • living standards
  • employment rates
  • national revenues
  • social services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • public infrastructure
  • social inequality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural dilution
  • social progress
  • environmental sustainability
  • cultural preservation
  • holistic development
  • quality of life
  • natural resources
  • future generations
  • national identity
  • social cohesion
  • diversity
  • sustainable development
  • inclusive development
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
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