An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development

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There is no doubt that these days that there are a lot of

people

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who have an obsession with cosmetic surgeries. The question is, why are more

people

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choosing to have operations to change their appearance? Do you think

this

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is a positive or negative

development

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? In

this

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essay, I am going to discuss

this

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statement and write my own conclusion. In terms of causes, bullying on

people

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's appearance leads them to go to change their looks. The main reason given to support

this

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claim is that bullying makes some

people

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have lower confidence about their appearance. To illustrate, we can see a lot of teen girls go to cosmetic clinics to have surgery and that think

after

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this

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operation they will be more pretty.

In other words

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, in the

future

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,future

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she will want more and more surgery. So she will lose her character and her natural beauty.

Moreover

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, there are favourable and damaging to

this

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kind of surgery.

Firstly

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, the one negative is hated the natural look and everyone wants to have the same look.

In other

Linking Words

words

Add a comma

,words

show examples

set a global scale of beauty and everyone to

wants

Add the particle

towants

show examples

achieve

this

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level of beauty.

Secondly

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, the positive things about

this

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operation are that it's helping

people

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who have deformation in their shape or losing part of their body.

This

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is because some

people

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have a huge deformation that affects their life which avoids them to study, communicating etc.

Also

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, increase confidence in their personality and broke the barrier of fear. Cosmetic operations help to treatment of medical cases by fitting artificial limbs. In conclusion,

although

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cosmetic surgeries have

Add an article

show examples

good

development

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, have

also

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bear

Wrong verb form

bore

show examples

bad

development

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Therefore

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, I believe that cosmetic operations have negative

development

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if it's used in no-need cases.

Submitted by jqanber4 on Sat Mar 25 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cosmetic surgery
Appearance
Improvement
Societal pressure
Media influence
Self-confidence
Self-esteem
Physical imperfections
Defects
Career
Professional reasons
Advancements
Medical technology
Accessibility
Negative
Psychological impacts
Realistic expectations

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