For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write. How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

#children #ability #instrument #suggestion #child

Whether

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a child must learn a musical

instrument

or not is a matter of debate. There are few who feel that it is as important as reading and writing. At the same ,

time

there are others who do not agree with

such

thought

Correct article usage

a thought

show examples

. I will discuss both the viewpoints in next paragraphs and I will try to come to a conclusion at the same

time

. On the first hand, Nowadays most parents want their wards to have the knowledge of at least of one the musical

instrument

of their choice.

In addition

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

many of the schools in the present era are

also

promoting the trend by including it in the student curriculum.The reason behind the popularity of the so-called trend is unknown but the popular belief is that being useful in passing leisure

time

additionally

, playing a musical

instrument

helps pupils to concentrate and to control the anxiety of competition in their studies.

On the other hand

, there are a lot of parents who believe that youth must be given choice to select their interests.

According

Correct pronoun usage

thisto

show examples

then

we can not impose on them to learn at least one musical

instrument

. Everyone has different personalities and traits and so are their interests.One must be given the opportunity to excel in the field he or she has some interest. For illustration, wasting

time

on music will hamper the progress of a sportsperson or a mathematician.

Thus

time

management is a must in student life and

such

compulsive demands destroy the career of a ward. In the context of the above discussion, it can be inferred that the timetable of a student is very crucial and the imposition of music as the requirement is not in favour of a child's growth as they must be given chance to select any hobby or career by choice.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write. How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the academic success of students depends on good teachers at schools. Others think that it depends on the attitude and determination of the students. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.