IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that man and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #man #women #qualities #jobs #men
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The past few decades have witnessed the prevalence of taking more roles in society by
women
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 ongoing debates on whether
men
Use synonyms
 just have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to do some particular jobs and others are only by
women
Use synonyms
. To the best of my knowledge, completed works do not depend on gender,
men
Use synonyms
 or
women
Use synonyms
 can take part in any
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
. In the modern world,
women
Use synonyms
 go to school and get as high
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 as
men
Use synonyms
. That means that all residents have knowledge, understanding and ability to be able to take responsible
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 job they want to do.
This
Linking Words
 is obvious when looking at
this
Linking Words
 example that more and more
women
Use synonyms
 become
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pilots and firefighters which are
Correct article usage
the kind
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of occupation people suppose to be just for
men
Use synonyms
. In school, boys are taught about gender and employment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will not get hesitate to choose
art work
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
 or fashion work when they grow up
such
Linking Words
 as fashionista, model,
painter
Correct word choice
or painter
show examples
,… In conclusion, there is no job which is just only property for
men
Use synonyms
 or
women
Use synonyms
. Everyone can learn, practice, and develop themselves to
suitable
Add a missing verb
be suitable
show examples
 for no matter position they love to be
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Submitted by slickdesertfox on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: