Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

The government has decided the retirement

age

Use synonyms

as 65 years irrespective of

work

Use synonyms

type. Few individuals believe that it is good to decide the same

age

Use synonyms

for all

whereas

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

believe that it is injustice for those who can not

work

Use synonyms

effectively as they worked earlier.

Hence

Linking Words

, flexibility is required. I affirm

this

Linking Words

statement and I will elaborate

Change preposition

on my

show examples

viewpoint in

this

Linking Words

essay

along with

Linking Words

examples. First and foremost,

it is clear that

Linking Words

all

work

Use synonyms

is not equal. Some are neutral

whereas

Linking Words

certain jobs require extra physical effort and

others

Use synonyms

have mind

work

Use synonyms

. Two

people

Use synonyms

start their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

at the same time though based on their type of service and

work

Use synonyms

mode their physical and mental fitness is different. In

such

Linking Words

cases, to

decide

Add the particle

todecide

show examples

fix the

age

Use synonyms

group for early leave is significantly unfair. Authorities should give some flexibility at a certain level where they can choose early retirement if the need arises.

In addition

Linking Words

, I believe that professions, where life is at risk, should be eligible early from the time they are significantly injured on duty

such

Linking Words

as Firefighters, Police officers, Soldiers and many more.

Due to

Linking Words

their contribution, the local

people

Use synonyms

can live peacefully and are able to enjoy their life.

Hence

Linking Words

, these

people

Use synonyms

deserve the right to choose their benefits.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

benefit is

also

Linking Words

required for

people

Use synonyms

who

work

Use synonyms

with their minds. Mental stability is essential in some professions.

For Example

Linking Words

, Surgeons and Judges. These

people

Use synonyms

are not doing physical

work

Use synonyms

but their wrong judgment can make

others

Use synonyms

in trouble if they are unable to perform their tasks. As with

age

Use synonyms

, some weaknesses are getting started. In conclusion, I believe that to decide fix

age

Use synonyms

group is good but it should be flexible enough and the approval process should be fast where the need arises so that they can get their regular pay from an early

age

Use synonyms

rather than depend on

others

Use synonyms

mayini711

Mar 25, 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
pension
unfair
occupational hazards
early retirement
physically demanding jobs
mental health
burnout
job-related stress
flexible retirement
health risks
workplace adaptation
career satisfaction
work-life balance

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