IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals who
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 four different types of tourist contentment in Britain from 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant part of visitors
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited the Theme
parks
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who
visit
Use synonyms
 museums and galleries was approximately similar to the first type.The lack of people decided to
visit
Use synonyms
historis
Correct your spelling
historic
 houses and monuments. The worst
place
Use synonyms
 for visiting was wildlife
parks
Use synonyms
 and zoos. In majority
segment
Change preposition
of segment
show examples
 in
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
 was in Theme
Parks
Use synonyms
;
furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 vacation was separated into small parts. Approximately 40 per cent of tourists
visit
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 almost half of them
visit
Use synonyms
 the Blackpool pleasure beach.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the other types of
this
Linking Words
 location were unpopular
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Alton Towers, Legolands,
Pleasulands
Correct word choice
and Pleasulands
show examples
, since their results were under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
twenty
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
. The second
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 for visitors
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 museums and galleries because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 had
thirthy
Correct your spelling
thirty
 seven per cent exactly.
Then
Linking Words
, somebodys' prefered the historical places
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 stats
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
roughtly
Correct your spelling
roughly
. The
last
Linking Words
 of the rating were wildlife
parks
Use synonyms
 and zoos,
that
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 had only 12
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by xzibitabdu on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words parks, visit, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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