IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Many contend that
music
 is a powerful tool to solve cultural disparity and generational gaps.
Although
 I do see the logic behind it bridging cultural differences, I do not feel that
music
 is capable of levelling the differences between generations.
To begin
 with, people tend to like the tune from their formative years and disdain other musical tastes. Each generation sticks to their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 genre or artists and considers others not worth their attention.
For example
, elderly people often consider classical melodies as the main genre
while
 disputing that other types like hip-hop and pop songs are not musical art forms. Youngsters,
however
, tend to enjoy sugary pop songs by Rihanna and Taylor Swift
as well as
 hip-hop tracks by Kendrick Lamar
whereas
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 considering classical melodies boring.
Hence
, musical pieces cannot be a unifier for connecting generations.
However
, the melody is an element which is capable of being appreciated all around the world. It is considered a language that can be understood by anyone in the world. Some tunes express universal sentiment in a way that brings a level of unity and solidarity between people of the world. Beethoven,
for instance
, is wildly known for his symphonies considered one of the most heard
music
 universally. By listening to his symphonies, regardless of where you are, you may feel a level of sentiment, happiness, empathy, or even unity with others. The cultural disparity among nations could be narrowed by the musical art form. In conclusion, despite my agreement with the capability of
music
 in bringing cultural differences together, I cannot stand by a view that suggests it can level generational disparity for the reason I have mentioned above.
Submitted by sajadtorab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: