IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fossil fuels are themain source of energy around the world. However, people are being encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. Do you think this is a positive or negative development and why.

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Approximately 80% of industrial sectors
use
Use synonyms
 fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 as a source of power.
Although
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 the government inspired general people to
use
Use synonyms
 other
sources
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 of
energy
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such
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 as
wind
Use synonyms
 and solar
energy
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instead
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 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
.In my point of ,view it is a novel work for our environment
as well as
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 humanity because
this
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 kind of
energy
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 does not harm our climate and does not worry about carbon emissions. On the one hand,by burning fossil
fuels
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 we create
energy
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,which increases the emission rate of carbon.
Therefore
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,our planet's temperature has
inclined
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 dramatically in the
last
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 few years.
Hence
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,we are facing a plethora of weather problems.
Though the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 introduction of
wind
Use synonyms
 and solar
energy
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 makes a big difference in our climate.To illustrate
this
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 kind of power plant does not produce carbon dioxide ,which is the main concern for nature.
Thus
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 we can protect our environment and solve our problems.Another advantage is that
wind
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 and solar
energy
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 are recyclable
energy
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whereas
Linking Words
 natural power can
use
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 only once.
Moreover
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,
wind
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 and other
sources
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 of
energy
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 are cheaper than traditional
fuels
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.Individuals are now converted to alternative
sources
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 of
energy
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.
For instance
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,people now
use
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 cars,which are operated by batteries. Tesla is one of the best sellers of battery cars,which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 founded by Elon
mask
Capitalize word
Mask
show examples
.
Apart from
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this
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 ,
this
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 kind of
energy
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 is safer because it does not have chemical substances which can
occur
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 big accidents. In conclusion,fossil
fuels
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amount is
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 decreasing day in and day out.If we do not move other
sources
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 there might be no
fuels
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 available for us in the future.
Moreover
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,fossil
fuels
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 are the main cause of climate change.For a better world ,we should
use
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 alternative
sources
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 of
energy
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 like
wind
Use synonyms
 and solar that will assist us
to create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
 a safer world for us.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly connect your ideas and arguments in a structured manner. Each paragraph should have a specific focus that builds on the previous one.
task achievement
Expand your points with further examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments and make them clearer to the reader.
language use
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to improve readability. Minor errors can distract from the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You successfully identify and discuss the advantages of alternative energy sources, presenting a clear stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the importance of transitioning to alternative energy sources.
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