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Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan.

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan.
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The table and chart provide data regarding populace growth and the proportion of the populace over 65 over a 100-year period in
Japan
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the
information
Add a comma
,information
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Japan
Use synonyms
's general population figures in 1950 were very different from those in 2005 and future predictions illustrate even greater differences. In 1950, the number of people was just over 84 million, and only 4.9 per cent of these individuals were above the age of 65. By 2005 the percentage of older individuals rose considerably to 20 per cent,
while
Linking Words
 the
overall
Linking Words
 populace had shown a parallel increase to nearly 128 million.
However
Linking Words
, total community figures peaked in 2005, and it is excepted that the number of humans living in
Japan
Use synonyms
 will decrease substantially over the next 50 years to a little below 90 million. In spite of
this
Linking Words
 fall, the rise in the ageing community will continue, and at a faster rate, so that by 2055, 41 per cent of Japanese humans will be over 65.
Overall
Linking Words
, these statics show two contrasting trends in
Japan
Use synonyms
's demographics that will result in fewer citizens, but greater numbers of elderly people

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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