IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boys and girls at school. Others disagree and believe that it is a waste of school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #life #skill #boys #girls #school #waste #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In conventional times, cooking was considered an essential life
skill
 for women.
However
, over the years it has become an imperative talent for men
as well as
 women. Since it is necessary for both genders, some people opine that
this
skill
 should be taught to
children
 at
school
.
Whereas
, some others feel that it is simply a waste of time. In my view, cooking must be taught to
children
 at
school
 and
this
 essay will elucidate my opinion
as well as
 both views. Some individuals believe that kids go to
school
 to get the learnings and education that will help them to become good individuals and get well-paying jobs. Cooking as a
skill
 would not serve either of the purposes.
Moreover
, they feel that not all
children
 would be interested in cooking activities and
hence
 it will be a waste of time for these kids.
For example
, not all pupils would go outside the country and not all of them would aspire to become professional chefs. As most students want to get into the corporate world or become professionals like doctors or accountants, the
skill
 would be of no use to them.
Therefore
, one cannot consider
this
 talent to be an essential one at
school
. In general, schools are centres for
children
 to learn
skill
 sets that would help them to become independent in life. If
such
 a
skill
 is not taught to pupils at these centres, it could be possible that they might not get sufficient time to seek it during higher education. Having said that, cooking these days has certainly become a survival
skill
 for all.
For instance
, nowadays,
children
 often go abroad for
further
 studies or better job opportunities. In foreign countries, the cost of labour is very high and unaffordable at the beginning.
Hence
, if the
skill
 is not taught to heirs at an early age, they might face severe challenges.
Thus
, it is quite necessary to teach heirs how to cook for themselves so that they do not face issues when away from near and dear ones. In conclusion, I believe that cooking should definitely be made mandatory for
children
 at institutions so that they are not dependent on anyone for survival.
Submitted by prabhunisha0994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and well-structured response to the given prompt. Your ideas are well-organized and clearly presented, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay exhibits a good logical structure and presents ideas in a coherent manner. However, there are some areas where the connection between points could be improved for better cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: