Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but other people think that it is necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #travel #countries #information #tv #internet

In the present age, there is a sharp rise in travelling to foreign countries and it is considered extremely popular, especially among youth. Some people believe that it is essential to visit foreign countries to

know

Verb problem

learn

show examples

about them,

whereas

others believe it is not needed as all

this

knowledge is available on the latest electronic gadgets. Personally, I am in favour of the former view.

Firstly

, visiting foreign nations

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

us with a chance to meet new people and learn about their culture. We can closely watch their culture and will be able to feel it.

For example

, people can learn about Indian religions more effectively if they visit Rishikesh physically.

Therefore

, the community will have a

such

great experience that they cannot forget till the end of their life.

Secondly

, communities living in foreign nations may have different aspects of some businesses. The travellers will get to learn their techniques and will get to learn more in detail if they

stopover

Correct your spelling

stop at

show examples

their sites.

For example

, in ,India many businesses are established by personnel who took ideas from

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

land.

Therefore

, the crowds who travel to other countries will have more chances

of learning

Change preposition

to learn

show examples

about businesses.

Thirdly

, whenever you stop over any other nation you need to learn the local language to be able to communicate with local folks.

For instance

, communities visiting Japan learn Japanese before arriving in Japan;

hence

, their language skills will certainly be fostered.

On the other hand

, some of the knowledge is available online and can be accessed with electronic gadgets like TV and the internet.

This

is the cheaper way and does not consume time. To illustrate, a person can access the USA with the help of the internet

while

in India.

Therefore

, their time and money will be saved. Even so, there is a high chance that

this

data might not be true or up to date which may cause some problems if used.

To sum up

, I would concede that crowds should explore foreign states even though some information can be found on the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

Overall

, I am convinced that exploring foreign states is extremely helpful and not a waste of time and money.

Submitted by kishanpatel2550 on Sun Mar 26 2023

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coherence and cohesion

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lexical resource

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

361 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive
interactions
virtual means
cultural nuances
language acquisition
problem-solving
adaptability
sustainability
virtual tours
documentaries
sophisticated
realistic representations
comprehensive understanding
financial status
carbon footprint
digital resources

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