IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
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Improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
health
Use synonyms
 is the topic
pf
Correct your spelling
of
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 discussion
although
Linking Words
 some think that increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 amenities are the best for
leveling
Change the spelling
levelling
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of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
health
Use synonyms
, others, myself included, believe that other measures are needed. The first reason is about avoiding fast food and having healthy meals because
people
Use synonyms
 are living in a fast world and they prefer to have a quick meal which is prepared in
a
Change the article
the
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 shortest time of a day.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person who works in a law firm with a lot of
client
Change to a plural noun
clients
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have
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has
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 no time to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dinner or lunch
instead
Linking Words
 they prefer to go to street foods which are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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body
Add an article
the body
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. So, fast food which
contain
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contains
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 oil can decrease
a
Correct article usage
the
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health
Use synonyms
 public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second one would be about
health
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 advertisement
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans are involved with technology currently
also
Linking Words
 communicate with others on different platforms.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who lies down on a sofa and
scrolling
Wrong verb form
scrolls
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 down Instagram or
twitter
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Twitter
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 can inform about
health
Use synonyms
 details by
the
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apply
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advertising a post on that surface.
Hence
Linking Words
, increasing the
health
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
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knowledge
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
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 with social media is another measurement. Some may argue that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good way to
health
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
Use synonyms
 is
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 facilities because they think that
people
Use synonyms
 by seeing
this
Linking Words
 stuff around their area are going to change their behaviour and make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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do
sport
Use synonyms
 for their body and
also
Linking Words
 they think that,
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 facilities can make an area for
people
Use synonyms
 to meet others.
However
Linking Words
, when someone cares about
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
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 own body might
sing
Correct your spelling
sign
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 up for a gym and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may not need
a
Change the article
the
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 motivation to see
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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tings
Correct your spelling
things
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are a lot of places
such
Linking Words
 as malls, gardens and so on to communicate and find a friend, when
people
Use synonyms
 are
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 facilities, they need to focus on their
work out
Correct your spelling
workout
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. In conclusion, improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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 has two topics which I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the fact that for increasing public
health
Use synonyms
 Other measures are required. For two
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
, the one is about healthy meals and avoiding fast food and the other is about adverting to motivate
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mahsa_shafie1996 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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