These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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With the advent of globalization in the 21st century, people have migrated across the globe in search of better lifestyles and employment opportunities.
While
the masses have established themselves in a new nation,
on the other hand
, some remained in their home country.
This
essay will discuss both of these viewpoints and will
be concluded
Wrong verb form
conclude
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with my opinion. The most crucial reason that the workforce has preferred to move to a developed nation is better job prospects,
therefore
they draw better salaries to bolster their family requirements. Nowadays,
for instance
, skilled labour migrates to Canada from countries like India, Pakistan etc.
Furthermore
, these advanced geographies provide a secure and pollution-free environment for these families,
consequently
; their future generations are well-secured. With these immigrations, even if a resource is well-educated or skilled, they have to spend time to earn good employment for themselves, which puts them under immense mental pressure. For years, they have had to struggle to buy a home and car.
For example
, in a recent report published by an agency The Job Survey, 90% of the gas station workforce are from underdeveloped nations and have migrated in the
last
year.
Moreover
, their kids
also
need time to cope in a new school find friends and adapt to a completely different education system.
To conclude
, once people move to a new state they have to start a new life from ground zero and if they are able to do it, the life of future generations is well secured. In my view, it is better to move to a well-established nation to give a better and more secure future to our upcoming generations.
Submitted by vij.vinay on

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction presents the main topic well, but the conclusion could be more decisive and summarize the main points more effectively.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the discussion lacks depth and a balanced examination of both viewpoints. More specific examples and a clearer opinion are needed.
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