These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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With the advent of globalization in the 21st century, people have migrated across the globe in search of better lifestyles and employment opportunities.

While

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the masses have established themselves in a new nation,

on the other hand

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, some remained in their home country.

This

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essay will discuss both of these viewpoints and will

be concluded

Wrong verb form

conclude

show examples

with my opinion. The most crucial reason that the workforce has preferred to move to a developed nation is better job prospects,

therefore

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they draw better salaries to bolster their family requirements. Nowadays,

for instance

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, skilled labour migrates to Canada from countries like India, Pakistan etc.

Furthermore

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, these advanced geographies provide a secure and pollution-free environment for these families,

consequently

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; their future generations are well-secured. With these immigrations, even if a resource is well-educated or skilled, they have to spend time to earn good employment for themselves, which puts them under immense mental pressure. For years, they have had to struggle to buy a home and car.

For example

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, in a recent report published by an agency The Job Survey, 90% of the gas station workforce are from underdeveloped nations and have migrated in the

last

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year.

Moreover

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, their kids

also

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need time to cope in a new school find friends and adapt to a completely different education system.

To conclude

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, once people move to a new state they have to start a new life from ground zero and if they are able to do it, the life of future generations is well secured. In my view, it is better to move to a well-established nation to give a better and more secure future to our upcoming generations.

vij.vinaySun Mar 26 2023

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction presents the main topic well, but the conclusion could be more decisive and summarize the main points more effectively.

task achievement

The essay partially addresses the task, but the discussion lacks depth and a balanced examination of both viewpoints. More specific examples and a clearer opinion are needed.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.