Nowadays, people get married and have children after the age of 30. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

#people #children #age #development

It is clear that

having

family

Add an article

a family

show examples

is important for

people

regardless

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

age. In contemporary society,

people

wed and start rearing their

children

after being 30

years

old.

This

trend has both pros and cons which are discussed in

this

essay. On the one hand, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

financial benefits if

people

have

family

Add an article

a family

show examples

after

30s

Correct pronoun usage

their 30s

show examples

, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

profits for themselves and their

children

. Many

people

start their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

early

Change the article

the early

show examples

20s and are able to make

Add an article

a plan

show examples

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

show examples

and save up money for their lives.

This

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

them to have a wide range of options including housing and

children

’s education.

For instance

people

who establish their family 20s cannot afford to live in desirable nor send their

children

to planned

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

because of financial

issues

Secondly

, it is easy for

people

, especially females, to secure their position after maternity leave if they deliver a child after 30

years

old.

This

is because they tend to have integral roles in their companies, and the companies want them to come back to fill the positions. By coming back

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

roles, they can expect guaranteed income.

On the other hand

, getting married and having

children

after 30

years

old could induce health

issues

. The risk of complications during pregnancy

such

as maternity diabetes or high cholesterol can be fatal for mothers and foetus. Compared to mothers who are

20s

Change the article

the 20s

show examples

, they have more chance of these complications.

Moreover

, the chance of miscarriage and delivery of

immature

Add an article

the immature

an immature

show examples

baby

Fix the agreement mistake

babies

show examples

is significantly higher if they get pregnant in

30s

Correct pronoun usage

their 30s

show examples

. These

issues

lead to not only higher healthcare

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

but

also

related physical and mental health

issues

Furthermore

, growing up

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

require physical activities

such

as running, repeating unpleasant

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

and

hold

Wrong verb form

holding

show examples

their postures. These physical activities induce

people

’s musculoskeletal problems. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative facets related

finance

Add the particle

to finance

show examples

and health if

people

get married and give

Remove the article

apply

show examples

birth after they are 30

years

old. It is necessary for

people

to discuss with their partners what is

their

Change the word

the

show examples

best choice for their and their

children

’s lives in the future.

Submitted by middy.fukuta on Mon Mar 27 2023

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, people get married and have children after the age of 30. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both these views and give opinion.

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.