IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#families #move #work #people #children #lives
Undeniably, in the modernised world, there is a drastic change in the preferences of people as compared to bygone days. It is a widely acknowledged fact that a significant proportion of people tend to live in foreign for
work
 but few individuals think that
this
 is fruitful for their
children
whereas
 others opine differently that it makes their way of life more complicated.
This
 essay will discuss both viewpoints
as well as
 my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs prior to a reasonable conclusion.
To begin
 with, more families migrate overseas for
work
. There are main two reasons. The first of forest mostly families think that advantages for their
children
. They get a better education.
Children
are improved
Change the verb form
have improved
show examples
 their studies and get more knowledge about study or culture. They explore new cultures when they moved to their country and live in another country. They meet new people.
Children
 make their friends because they get
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. They communicate with other ones.
Children
 learned new things about their culture and learned more about entertainment facilities
whereas
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they improve their communication skills.
On the other hand
, there are two main reasons associated why living in foreign makes is more difficult.
Firstly
,
children
 face to face communication is more difficult and language variation. They do not understand the language and don't feel comfortable.
Moreover
, they used to with their old lifestyle but,
then
children
 get more responsibilities and
work
 or study. They feel very uncomfortable. They do
work
 9-10 hours. They get stressed with these hectic routines. Mostly they live alone without any helping hand.
Hence
, due above mentioned reasons, I am favour in
latter
Add an article
the latter
show examples
 statement.
To conclude
, I want to say that more families go overseas for their
work
 purpose
then
 they face difficulties
instead
 of benefits.
Submitted by gmanjeet57 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: