Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

One of the social concerns today relates to
children
's education or parenting.
While
it is widely believed that adults should follow their
children
closely, others believe that
children
should have more space to grow naturally. In my opinion,
parents
need to give their
children
the freedom to grow up
while
supporting them when they are in need. On the one hand, it is argued by some that
parents
have to control and monitor their
children
carefully. The main reason is that if their
children
make a mistake or foul, they can find out the main point and educate their
children
. It is
also
possible to say that social situations now are pretty complicated;
therefore
, they have to spend more time with their
children
to teach them how to avoid dangerous situations. Another reason is
parents
can force and encourage them to study.
For example
, if the child doesn’t care about their score or their career,
parents
will force them to learn and improve themselves.
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that
children
should have more space and area to grow naturally. People often have
this
opinion because
children
can learn by themselves, train and improve their soft skills, IQ and EQ when they have their own space and freedom.
For example
, as reported by a study by Stanford University,
children
who learn by themselves are always more active and flexible than other
children
who are always supervised by the teachers at school or tutors /
parents
at home. In conclusion, either supervising
children
closely or providing them with more area to feel more freedom and comfort has advantages. Personally, I tend to believe that we have to balance them, just make
children
comfortable but still don’t let them spoiled.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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  • thirdly
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  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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