IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
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Thesedays
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These days
,one of the most controversial issues around the
world
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 is population and everything
that is
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 related to it.Meanwhile,some countries experience more population growth in the
number of
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apply
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young
generation
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 than
old
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the old
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generation
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.In
this
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 essay,I will discuss
importance
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the importance
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 of both
group
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groups
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society with some relevant examples. On the one hand,all the countries around the
world
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 need young
people
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 to work for their country.
Young
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The young
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generation
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,first of all,
are
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is
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 open-minded and they are ready to accept new ways and try hard situations.They are willing to work and they have a lot of energy
as well as
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 productivity to tackle
with
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apply
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issues in different areas.They are full of
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an idea
the idea
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idea
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ideas
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an
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and
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 they are
creativite
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creative
creativity
.
In addition
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,they are updated and know the latest information or knowledge
in
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on
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 many specific topics.
For example
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,because of
advancement
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advancements
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 in technology in recent years and significant development in Artificial
intelligence
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,intelligence
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 most young
people
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 are able to work with AI in different aspects.
On the other hand
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,elderly
people
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 are treasures in our
world
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.They are full of experience and knowledge in many topics.Most of the old
generation
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 are more
hardwork
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hardworking
 and industries and attain their experiences through difficulty.Because
,
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apply
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they spend a lot of time and money to gain
their
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apply
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information.they are
also
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 the best mentor and
guide
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guides
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 for young
people
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 and can share their experiments and valuable knowledge with
junior
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juniors
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 to boost their information without waste of their
times
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time
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.
To sum up
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,In my perspective,all the
people
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 around the
world
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 without age barriers are valuable and worthwhile for each country and just with the cooperation of both we can gain the desired result.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: