IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries more and more local shops are closing down because so many people now shop online. what proplems might this cause ? what is the best way to deal with this problems ?

#countries #shops #people #shop #proplems
There is no doubt that these days , online shopping has become popular
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, which leads to
close
Wrong verb form
closing
show examples
 many local
shopss
Correct your spelling
shops
 in some regions . The question is , what are the reasons of lock the local
shops
 in some countries
? .
Change the punctuation
?
.
show examples
 In
this
 essay , I am going to explain the causes of
this
 issue and draw my conclusion . In terms of many
shops
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
 closed recently , the primary one is that most
people
 prefer to pay from online
shopes
Correct your spelling
shoppes
shops
 rather than local
shops
 because of the price and
others factor
Fix the agreement mistake
other factors
show examples
.To
illustratre
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, one of
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 attractive
featuers
Correct your spelling
features
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 online shopping is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper than local shopping .
Also
 , the quality of the purchases
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
convenint
Correct your spelling
convenient
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 different
people
 than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
shops
 .
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
 online shopping is allowed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers to pay from their comfort zone .
On the other hand
 , during covid
pandemic
Add a comma
,pandemic
show examples
 many
people
 tend to close their own
shops
 because the rent of local stores
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest level in 2020
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 with
last
years
Change noun form
year's
show examples
 which leads to
close
Correct article usage
the close
show examples
many
Change preposition
of many
show examples
shopse
Correct your spelling
shops
 in some areas .
However
 , the prices of clothes in local
shops
 are more
exspenseive
Correct your spelling
expensive
 and not
realiable
Correct your spelling
reliable
 for most
people
 . With the advancement of technology over the world
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to pay every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
 from any country just with click a
botton
Correct your spelling
button
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a second. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 we could say that
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
people
 are enjoying to pay
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
onlin
Correct your spelling
online
 shopping because it
is contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
featuers
Correct your spelling
features
.
Submitted by aldossaryfaten95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: