IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

people's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #habits #age #group #factor
It has been observed that shopping became one of the trending habits
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
young generation.
Although
 some people believe that
age
 doesn't matter for purchasing
things
. I firmly agree with the given statement that
age
 factors
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shopping habits. My inclination is
elobrated
Correct your spelling
elaborated
celebrated
in
ensuing
Correct article usage
the ensuing
show examples
 paragraphs and examples. The foremost idea to support my point is that
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 generation is more
tech savvy
Add a hyphen
tech-savvy
show examples
 and they can purchase a variety of stuff by sitting at home. Youngsters are more
shopaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
shopaholics
show examples
 as they are copying the trends of the time.
For instance
 , a survey held in 2022, stated that teenagers spend 70 per cent more than others on shopping.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the other reason to prove my point is,
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 factor
also
 plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role in shopping as
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
 generation wants to show off
things
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people do not want to repeat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
. On contrary, some people
counter claim
Correct your spelling
counterclaim
show examples
 the mentioned support. The foremost argument they do is that for shopping
age
 doesn't matter. As they think
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
 for the
things
 is
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
 cause of the shopping.
To conclude
 the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact of that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
things
, my reasons that
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 off and matching trends effects shopping are logically acceptable.
Submitted by sarvjeetkaur330 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: