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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, robots do more and more jobs instead of humans. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages.

#robots #jobs #humans #development
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In recent years,
robots
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 train to
work
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similar
Change the adjective
similarly
show examples
 to
human
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humans
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 in some countries.
Although
Linking Words
robots
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take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 over human places in
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company
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the company
a company
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 is thought by some to be
a
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apply
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good for
region
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the region
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, other
people
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 think that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I think that
this
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 transition can bring more
problems
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 for folks compared to any
advantages
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 it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic benefits of
robot's
Change noun form
robots
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
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instead
Linking Words
 of
people
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 in
Add an article
the organization
an organization
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organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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.
Firstly
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,
robots
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 are useful because they can complete a task within the specified
timline
Correct your spelling
timeline
, which is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
show examples
 factor for any employer nowadays.
For Example
Linking Words
,
robots
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 can be programmed in
such
Linking Words
way
Correct article usage
a way
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 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can
handled
Change the verb form
handle
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 multiple tasks at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 time because of
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 core and speed of
Correct article usage
the processor
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processor
Fix the agreement mistake
processors
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 being used in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
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Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 can handle more
work
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 parallel if they have more same kind of
robots
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.
Secondly
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, the
economy
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economic
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 growth of
nation
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a nation
the nation
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 is
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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due to
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these development
Change the determiner
this development
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if more
robots
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are
Change the verb form
work
show examples
work
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 fastly and safely in different fields which means our country's economy increase.
Nevertheless
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, despite the
advantages
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 above, I believe
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 could face serious
problems
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 if
robots
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
take over their jobs. One potentially dangerous problem is that
people
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 lose their jobs.
In other words
Linking Words
, if
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
a company
the company
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 invests money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 making
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
robots
a robot
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robots
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then
Linking Words
 it might be a serious problem for
Add an article
an employee
the employee
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 to
work
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on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that
company
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.
Fix the agreement mistake
Employers
show examples
Employer
Add an article
An employer
The employer
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 might relieve them from duty because their
work
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 is not better than
Add an article
a robot
show examples
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
show examples
. Another obvious issue is that
robots
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 can cause serious hazards to someone or someone's property if they are not well programmed.
For example
Linking Words
, In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 restaurant, if
robots
Use synonyms
 are making
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
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 for
customer
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customers
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 and they are not aware
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 to handle a fire
then
Linking Words
 it may cause
problems
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all customers and
Correct article usage
the restaurant
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restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, we
also
Linking Words
 consider the
manufaturing
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 cost
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 higher compared to employee's salary. In conclusion, In today's world,
robots
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 are taken a place of
people
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's jobs
due to
Linking Words
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
advantages
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. But I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
problems
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 which we have seen above far
outweighs
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outweigh
show examples
 any of the basic
advantages
Use synonyms
 that it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
.
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