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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for​ sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #people #governments #responsibility #control #individuals #for​ #intake
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Overconsumption
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 of
sugar
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 has become a significant concern in modern times
due to
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 its negative impact on
health
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that it is the
responsibility
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 of the
government
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 to regulate
sugar
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intake
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, others argue that
individuals
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 should take
responsibility
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 for their
sugar
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intake
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. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both viewpoints and provide my opinion. On the one hand, those who argue that it is the
government
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's
responsibility
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 to control
sugar
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intake
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 believe that
overconsumption
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 of
sugar
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 can lead to various
health
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 problems, including obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.
Therefore
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, governments should take action to protect public
health
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 by regulating
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sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
 content in
food
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 and beverages.
For instance
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, governments could impose taxes on sugary drinks or limit the amount of
sugar
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 that manufacturers can add to their products. By doing so, the
government
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 can reduce the consumption of
sugar
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 and improve the
overall
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health
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 of the population.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that
individuals
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 should take
responsibility
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 for their
sugar
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intake
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. They argue that it is not the
government
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's
responsibility
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 to regulate what
people
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 eat or drink.
Instead
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,
individuals
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 should be aware of the negative effects of
sugar
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 consumption and make their own choices.
For example
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,
people
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 can choose to consume
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 sugary drinks and snacks, read nutrition labels before buying products, and opt for healthier alternatives
such
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 as fruits and vegetables. By taking
responsibility
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 for their own
sugar
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intake
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,
individuals
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 can improve their
health
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 and reduce the burden on the healthcare system. In my opinion, both the
government
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 and
individuals
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 should take
responsibility
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 for controlling
sugar
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intake
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.
While
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individuals
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 have the right to choose what they consume, the
government
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 should
also
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 play a role in regulating
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sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
 content in
food
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 and beverages.
This
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 can be achieved through public
health
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 campaigns, education programs, and regulations that encourage
food
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 and beverage manufacturers to reduce the amount of
sugar
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 in their products. By working together, the
government
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 and
individuals
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 can reduce the negative impact of
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overconsumption
Correct article usage
the overconsumption
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 of
sugar
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 on public
health
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. In conclusion,
overconsumption
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 of
sugar
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 is a serious
health
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 issue, and both the
government
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 and
individuals
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 should take
responsibility
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 for controlling it.
While
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 the
government
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 can regulate
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sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
 content in
food
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 and beverages,
individuals
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 can
also
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 take steps to reduce their
sugar
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intake
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. It is important to work together to improve public
health
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 and reduce the negative impact of
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overconsumption
Correct article usage
the overconsumption
show examples
 of
sugar
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 on society.
Submitted by dias-orazbaev on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overconsumption
  • unhealthy
  • control
  • responsibility
  • sugar intake
  • government intervention
  • individual actions
  • benefits
  • challenges
  • balance
  • education
  • awareness
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