In many countries, it is becoming less common for people to look after elderly relatives themselves. Instead, the care is provided by professionals. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Older
Correct article usage
The older
show examples
generation plays an important part in
people
Use synonyms
's life. They are the foundation of their families. Nowadays in many parts of the world,
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
professionalists
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
are hired for looking after elder
people
Use synonyms
rather than taking
care
Use synonyms
of them by their families. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is a positive approach. I will discuss some of my point
views
Change preposition
of views
show examples
in the upcoming paragraphs. First of all, it is the responsibility of every child to look after their elders. Old age is the age when
peole
Correct your spelling
people
face a lot of
health
Use synonyms
issues.
This
Linking Words
is the time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they need their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
support. In
todays
Correct your spelling
today
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
world,
people
Use synonyms
are busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
their work or studies, so they get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very less time to spend with their grandparents.
This
Linking Words
gives
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
feeling of loneliness to their grandparents. It is a good idea to hire a
Use synonyms
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
worker for them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that their parents don't feel alone.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during any emergency, if
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
is not at home, a
professionalist
Replace the word
professional
show examples
can look after them.
Use synonyms
Health
Correct your spelling
Healthcare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
workers are experienced
people
Use synonyms
who know which medicine should be given to elderly
people
Use synonyms
during any
hearth
Correct your spelling
heart
show examples
problem.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is the source of income for
health
Use synonyms
professionalists
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
when they take
care
Use synonyms
of older
peole
Correct your spelling
people
because they get paid for doing
this
Linking Words
job. In conclusion, no doubt, it reduces the love and affection between grandparents and children, when they
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
give time to them, but
also
Linking Words
a good idea to hire a professional worker who can look after them.
Submitted by japneetmaan22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Specialized medical attention
  • Round-the-clock supervision
  • Healthcare facilities
  • Family bonds
  • Cultural shifts
  • Demographic trends
  • Financial burden
  • Government policies
  • Elder care industry
  • Feelings of isolation
  • Social interaction
  • Societal values
  • Individualistic approach
  • Cultural transmission
  • Professional development
  • Emotional and physical strain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: