Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #parents #time #children #fun #games #sports #schoolwork #two #approaches #support

this

fast-paced society,

parents

are constantly burdened by the pressures of the world. It can be either work-related or family-related.

Therefore

, it is very important to consider whether the limited

time

parents

get should be either spent having fun or educating their

children

. Without a doubt, I believe that

parents

must use their scanty free

time

to engage in playing games and sports with their kids. I strongly feel

this

way for two reasons, which I shall delve into in the following essay.

To begin

with,

children

spent almost half of their

time

in school being taught lessons and equations, which

at the end

of the day exhausts their tiny brains. All they want to do coming back home is to calm their frantic mind and soothe the stress and tension acquired from school. So, having

parents

encourage and participate in outdoor activities, definitely will boost their energy and clear their minds from all the stress inducers.

For example

children

are taught so many new materials daily which

overload

Correct subject-verb agreement

overloads

show examples

their brains. Enjoying some quality

time

with their

parents

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will definitely enrich and nourish their brains.

Furthermore

, they will

also

be able to capture amazing memories, which could be cherished forever.

Thus

this

reason manifests the fact that

parents

should spend

time

with their

children

Moreover

, spending

time

playing sports and other activities will

also

enable

parents

to realize their child's talents and skills.

For example

, the current formula 1 champion, Max Verstappen, during an interview mentioned that it was solely with the presence and support of his dad, that he was able to reach greater heights. Recognizing

children

's dreams at a very tender age will help them to gain a competitive edge over their fellow classmates.

Consequently

, realizing

such

dream and passion help the

parents

to pave or foster the right path for their

children

Therefore

this

reason mentions that spending

time

with

children

is important. Some

on the other hand

believe that with the limited

time

parents

get, should be utilized for teaching and helping the

children

with their homework.

Although

it may be beneficial to some extent, I believe that no child should be burdened with the system of education and assignments at a very early age.

In addition

Change preposition

apply

show examples

engaging in fun activities with

children

, leads to an added benefit for the

parents

as well, as they will be able to relieve their minds from their busy and stressful life.

Therefore

, spending

this

restricted

time

with

children

is vital.

To sum up

, based on the expositions mentioned above, I believe

parents

must use the maximum available

time

they get cherished with their

children

as they will be able to nurture and develop their talents and

also

teach them life lessons.

Submitted by jestinjohnson.09 on Wed Mar 29 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

454 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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