IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #purchase #product
It is believed by
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that
advertisements
 are redundant because
individuals
 buy items
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
according to
 their needs. I mostly disagree with
this
 suggestion because
advertisements
 present us
promotions
Change preposition
with promotions
show examples
 of
products
 and
thus
, we may change our purchasing
decisions
.
Additionally
, not everybody is decisive to shop
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 certain items and
advertisements
 form their needs with
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of many
products
.
Firstly
,
advertisements
 have a beneficial role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 notifying consumers about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future discounts and promotions.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many
individuals
 have determined to purchase their needs before, via these
advertisements
, they would check out their purchasing lists for making better
decisions
. To illustrate that, a person who intends to buy a computer may be alerted by some
advertisements
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the web when he or she explores proper
products
 for him or her. These kinds of incidents usually are beneficial for clients because they take a chance to refresh their preferences.
Hence
, advertising is necessary for people.
Secondly
, some
individuals
 do not plan their present or future needs. Ads help them to make
decisions
 in terms of their preferences.
For example
, an advertisement about investment can create
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
individuals
 who want to invest some funds in order to ensure their future generations. Without
this
 presentation, many
individuals
 probably do not tend to invest their money.
Thus
,
advertisements
 have a considerable role to bring some
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 consumers. Shortly,
advertisements
 give
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 people who have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
purchasing
Change the verb form
purchased
show examples
decisions
. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
 suggestion. Even though
advertisements
are seem
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 unnecessary
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for some clients, in my opinion, they have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on people
such
 as buying
decisions
 and learning new ideas about
products
 or investments. 45 dk.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: