Young people are highly influenced by famous people and they look up to them as role models. Is that a positive or a negative development.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent decades, celebrities' social influence has significantly reached young

people

Use synonyms

. Whether the situation in which young

people

Use synonyms

look them up as role models should be accepted has been hotly debated among individuals. I agree that it

oughts

Correct subject-verb agreement

ought

show examples

to be regarded as a positive impact

due to

Linking Words

motivational factors.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

this

Linking Words

issue by using examples to support ideas and demonstrate points. On the one hand, it is the fact that if children listen to their successful lives or stories, they can become teenagers' motivations for their future careers.

In addition

Linking Words

, as they dedicate themselves to delivering social responsibilities through donations, charities or voluntary activities, celebrities deserve to become adolescents' role models.

For example

Linking Words

, famous

people

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as Justin Bieber or Big Bang have supported developing countries with financial assistance.

Thus

Linking Words

, these factors can affect teenagers positively in their advancements.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

worry that their misbehaviours like drug abuse or violent lyrics on songs can be easily mimicked by teenagers.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, tendencies to show off their property

such

Linking Words

as luxurious items or expensive cars are not respectful of ethical morals.

For instance

Linking Words

, students in South Korea emulate sex

appealing

Correct your spelling

sex-appealing

show examples

dances of famous

people

Use synonyms

in pedagogical establishments, and it becomes a serious concern for their parents.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is comparatively difficult to say they

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

positive impacts on adolescents' growth. In conclusion, as negative aspects of famous

people

Use synonyms

can be overcome by their parents' or teachers' education, I strongly suggest that their social influences should be considered positively as motivational factors for their future careers children.

mix5777Wed Mar 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improvement Suggestions

coherence cohesion

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Use concrete instances of how celebrities have positively or negatively influenced young people. Additionally, ensure that each example directly ties back to the main point or argument of the paragraph.

task response

You have a good logical structure in your essay. However, make sure to fully address all parts of the essay prompt. Develop each point thoroughly and address potential counter-arguments to strengthen your response.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the final destination of academics is always a concern and argued about how it should be. Certain people hold the view that the ultimate goal of schools produce a good population and workers instead of bringing advantages to each person. From my point of view, even though becoming a responsible resident is vital to some extent, improving the personality of pupils is more significant.
7.5
band
Some people think that only the goverment can make significant changes in society while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?
Issues related to the impactful ways of developing communities are frequently discussed these days. It is argued that remarkable changes in the cities are due to state administrators, while others believe that citizens can participate in this, as they are the majority power of nations. This essay will look at two points of view and explain why I think both of these determinants play a crucial role in this case.
6
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In life, some people think that competing with others at work, school, and in daily life is good. Others believe that it is better to work together and help each other. This essay will talk about both ideas and give my own opinion.
6.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today`s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Although some people believe that one the most important subjects in schools is History, some others think that by paying attention to the modern world there are more important subjects namely, science and technology. I believe that since and technology are more necessary because of work literacy in the future and the world modernity.
7.5
band
In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from the family home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages?
In certain countries, university students live with their families during their studies, whereas in others, they must move to another city to pursue higher education. From my perspective, although living far from home has both benefits and drawbacks, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Young people are highly influenced by famous people and they look up to them as role models. Is that a positive or a negative development.

Improvement Suggestions

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that only the goverment can make significant changes in society while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today`s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from the family home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages?