IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important?

#job #satisfaction #luxury #countries
Job
 satisfaction is an act of being satisfied
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 what he or she is doing in his
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
her career. A lot of people are dying to get a
job
 in order to sustain their needs and wants. Developing countries offered a lot of jobs in any
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
 and
industies
Correct your spelling
industries
. Because of the rise of
job
 opportunities, locals
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a lot of
job
 choices.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, companies in developing countries are looking for someone who can work with them by proactively reaching out to
candidates
, not the same as before
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
candidates
 will be the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 to look for jobs. Some of the
candidate
's main goal in finding a
job
 is to have a good salary and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career growth.
Furthermore
, mental health and physical health is the top
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
line. Based on
survey
Add an article
the survey
a survey
show examples
,
candidates
 who kept on
chaging
Correct your spelling
changing
charging
 companies time by time is the type of
candidates
 who are looking for a company
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can provide
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance, and
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can
sufice
Correct your spelling
suffice
surface
 their salary expectation.
Job
 satisfaction is very important for some reasons; Once a
candidate
 is satisfied, he/she can do better and
very
Add a missing verb
be very
show examples
 productive in the
worplace
Correct your spelling
workplace
; The
candidate
 will stay long in the company and can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 career growth; and
lastly
,
candidate
Correct article usage
the candidate
show examples
 can recommend the
compny
Correct your spelling
company
 that it is the best place to work with. In general, people will aim for
job
 satisfaction to protect their mental and physical health and by that, they will have a better opportunity to grow and prosper in the industry.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: