Some people believe that schools are no longer necessary ,because students can get so much information through the internet and study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #students #information #internet #study #home

Nowadays ,there are enough numbers of people worldwide who think that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn at home thanks to the development of internet access . From my perspective, I disagree with

this

proposal.

This

essay will demonstrate why its proponents are correct . One of the serious

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

is that teachers are important. There is a lot of information about learning materials and students don't know which is valuable for

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. If students go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

schools they will take

Add an article

the book

a book

show examples

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

which is

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

useful from their teachers' opinion and it is affected their knowledge.

Such

as : these days

books'

Change noun form

books

show examples

catalog

Change the spelling

catalogue

show examples

which is helpful ,worthy,

advantageous

Correct word choice

and advantageous

show examples

are given by teachers.

Although

there is a lot of information on the internet ,

on the other

hand

Add the comma(s)

,hand

show examples

it is difficult to find valuable books .

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

another reason for opposing

this

view is technical trouble . There are inhabitants who stay in the suburb without the use of electricity.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

it is

complicated

Add an article

a complicated

show examples

situation which residents to learn on the internet.Tutors

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

teach pupils to become professionals is important in society. Government should not rely on technology alone for learning so that others people will benefit .

Induvifuals

Correct your spelling

Individuals

who learn in a classroom

communicate

Change the form of the verb

communicating

show examples

with each other to build interpersonal skills.

To conclude

considering the aforementioned points,it can be inferred that universities

Change the verb form

are

show examples

importantly

Replace the adverb

important

show examples

. Tutors are the best information material and technical troubles are the two main reasons I agree with

this

view.

Submitted by brookland.school.uzb on Wed Mar 29 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that schools are no longer necessary ,because students can get so much information through the internet and study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first month after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

2.It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

There is an increasing trend of old people living longer in many countries around the world. Do you think this has a positive or a negative effect on the population as a whole?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?