IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, children show less respect to elders. What are the causes of such behavior? What can be done to address this situation?

#countries #children #show #respect #elders #behavior #address #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people are living in a society that
don'
Correct your spelling
doesn't
t
Use synonyms
 recognize the
importance
Use synonyms
 of
values
Use synonyms
 . One of the main
values
Use synonyms
 whose lack is more visible around the world is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Respect
Use synonyms
 . It is actually a sad
situation
Use synonyms
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respect
Use synonyms
 is the basis of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 , if we don'
t
Use synonyms
respect
Use synonyms
 each other, we will cross the line between their
freedom
Use synonyms
 and ours.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , analyzing
Correct article usage
the familiy's
show examples
familiy's
Correct your spelling
family's
family
structure can be
obsererved
Correct your spelling
observed
that
this
Linking Words
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
behavior
Use synonyms
 in children is
consequence
Add an article
a consequence
the consequence
show examples
 of the
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
behavior
Use synonyms
 of their
parents
Use synonyms
 . First , the lack of
values
Use synonyms
 that we are living in the actual world, is a consequence of the greater
importance
Use synonyms
 that we are giving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 .
Although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 is an
importan
Correct your spelling
important
value, we can'
t
Use synonyms
 give more
importance
Use synonyms
 than we give to the rest of
Use synonyms
values
Correct article usage
the values
show examples
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as
respect
Use synonyms
 or
emphaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
. It is
this
Linking Words
 relevance that we have
gave
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
to the
freedom
Use synonyms
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
had
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
the world in a place
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
values
Use synonyms
 . Thereby we find children on the street who don'
t
Use synonyms
respect
Use synonyms
 anybody, and they think that can do whatever they want,
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
consequences. Second , when we analyze the family's
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
behavior
Use synonyms
 , we
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 that even
there
Correct word choice
if there
show examples
 is no
respect
Use synonyms
 between fathers and sons,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what can we expect from the son toward their grandparents if they always look
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 acting
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
respect
Use synonyms
 toward their own
parents
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 The example is the principal way to learn
values
Use synonyms
 ,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
learn by repeating
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
behaviors .
For example
Linking Words
 , if my son looks at me, always
anger
Replace the word
angry
show examples
and impatient when I come back home, they will repeat
this
Linking Words
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
behavior
Use synonyms
 when they arrive from their school.
To conclude
Linking Words
, giving a look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the general
situation
Use synonyms
 , can be seen that if we reinforce the
importance
Use synonyms
 of the
others
Change noun form
other's
others'
show examples
values
Use synonyms
 we can address
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 . Incorporating subjects in
schooll
Correct your spelling
school
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the kids the knowledge that they need to turn in a good way
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
 .
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
home ,
parents
Use synonyms
 must escape from their routines and get time to share with their sons and
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 the
values
Use synonyms
 as behaviors that
complements
Change the verb form
complement
show examples
each other.
Submitted by mehrankingwilling on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: