Many research found that some food and drink products containing bad substance for human, therefore it must be banned from the market. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Plenty of research said that there is a detrimental substance that includes some food and drink products that should be prohibited from the marketplace. I completely agree with the statement that

this

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essay will elaborate on.

To begin

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with, the main reason why the marketplace should be cleaned of the dangerous substances in some beverage brands is that they can lead to illness and disease. It means that consumers' health has to be the main objective for companies when producing their goods. In Indonesia,

for instance

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, the government has introduced a new regulation to protect its population from medicines that contain pig oil. Based on some research findings, it has a detrimental effect on an individual's heart.

Moreover

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, it

also

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contradicts religious values, particularly Islam as the most populous adherent.

Therefore

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, protecting the nation's inhabitants must be the main consideration for rejecting them.

Secondly

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, there are alternative choices for people when some brands do not exist in the market.

This

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means that in every area of our lives today companies compete with each other to attract people to purchase their commodities. When one product disappears from the marketplace, other commodities will come to replace it.

For example

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, when the Indonesian government banned palm oil from the market, multiple manufacturers have been introducing new brands as an alternative.

Hence

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, to some extent, it is completely fine for the government to forbid some products since the second choice will replace them. In conclusion,

although

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there are some negative substances in some food and drink products, it is totally all right for a state to disallow them from the market since people's health is the top priority and there are always alternatives from other companies.

This

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essay,

accordingly

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, totally agrees with

this

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statement.

salwafahanimWed Mar 29 2023

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task response

The essay provides a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples. It addresses the question effectively and presents a well-structured response. However, there should be more development in the paragraphs to fully support the main points.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. The essay follows a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas. However, there should be more cohesive devices used to further enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
safety regulations
chronic diseases
consumer awareness
health-conscious
healthcare systems
diet-related conditions
economic implications
ethical considerations
moral responsibility
government regulation
food and beverage companies
innovate
safer
healthier alternatives

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