In many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the past. Is this a positive or negative development?
It has become common knowledge in some regions worldwide that children are given more liberty compared to several years ago.
Although
this
might have some positive impacts in some cases, I believe that it would have destructive consequences for them in the not too distant
future.
A multitude of rationales could be cited Add a hyphen
not-too-distant
why
giving freedom to the young generation would be detrimental, one of which can be that teens lack decisive knowledge. Not only are they less experienced, but they are Change preposition
as to why
also
more emotional, meaning that they cannot distinguish between bad and good without a third-person perspective. As a result
, They would take an
action at their peril. As a case in point, in Iran, many under-graduated students tend to change their academic fields which are chosen by themselves freely at the age of 15 just because they were not wise enough to select the appropriate area of specialization. In Correct article usage
apply
this
case, if they were guided and not given freedom in their childhoods, they could be more successful matures
in the future.
Another downside would be that youngsters are more prone to criminal activities than past Verb problem
apply
due to
technological development. Being at sensitive ages, they can be strongly affected by their social acquaintances or violent movies as they are permitted to access the internet without any restriction. A bright example would be that by watching a Hollywood film, they would be spurred to try various drugs or smoking, leading them to addiction. Therefore
, this
kind of liberty allowing them to explore online freely is disadvantageous.
In conclusion, children have become much freer than before and this
would have devastating consequences for their lives.Submitted by namvarehsan7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that logically follow.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully and provide more specific examples to support your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite