The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how parents in a country spent time taking care of their children in the evening in 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart indicates the roles of
mothers
and
fathers
play in different activities
while
parenting in the evening, respectively in 2022.
Overall
,
mothers
play the essential role of parenting children in various aspects,
while
fathers
spent only a little
time
participating in it, in which,
mothers
spent most
Change preposition
of her
show examples
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
time
dressing up their children.
On the other hand
, parents were more likely to cooperate to prepare the bed and play games with descendants. First of all, putting on clothes for children took up the majority of the
time
of
mothers
, surpassing 70%, in which only 20% of
time
involved
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fathers
.
Furthermore
, half of the mother's
time
is used to keeping an eye on their homework, which accounted, which was five times higher than the
time
fathers
spent on it.
On the other hand
, parents tend to work together for doing entertainment activities with their child at 70%,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
by 50% which both parents used to
tyding
Correct your spelling
tying
typing
bed for sleep.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand, while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words mothers, fathers, time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • Percentage
  • Parents
  • Spent time
  • Taking care
  • Children
  • Evening
  • 2022
  • Summarise
  • Information
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Relevant
  • Patterns
  • Trends
  • Highest
  • Lowest
  • Activities
  • Gender
  • Conclusion
  • Findings
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