The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
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The given diagram depicts those machines and steps involved in the process of how cement is made,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it shows how
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

product is transformed into concrete to be used in construction means.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be seen that, in both cases, the process is linear, composed of few
and
Correct word choice
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It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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simple steps before use. In cement production,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

initially
Add a comma
,initially

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase initially. Consider adding a comma.

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limestone and clay are crushed until it takes a powder form. After that, it is mixed and set over a higher temperature to be heated.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Finally. Consider adding a comma.

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it is grounded and stored in bags to be sailed. When it comes to concrete management, several raw materials are used in order to conceive
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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concrete.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, exactly half of the gravel, a quarter of the sand and a tiny fraction of water and cement are all put together to be mixed into a concrete mixer machine. Once it is done, the machine starts a continuous rotation to make the mix ready for use.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • construction
  • cement-making
  • raw materials
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • heating
  • grinding
  • cement powder
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • versatility
  • strength
  • aggregate
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