In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I am now a student, and my
future
really
Add a missing verb
is really
show examples
important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
me. Of course, I can’t know how my
future
will be, but I can fantasize about it. Now I am going to finish
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school.
Firstly
, I
image
Replace the word
imagine
show examples
my graduation. It
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be wonderful
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
,
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
of the most memorable moments in my life. I really focused on my exams
last
6 months. My
future
depends on how I pass them. After passing
exams
Correct article usage
the exams
show examples
, I’m going to go to university and keep
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
there. It’s important to me to go
university
Change preposition
to university
show examples
. I want to get higher education and get
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
job with
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
salary. I don’t want to work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
low-qualificated
Correct your spelling
low-qualified
low-qualification
jobs. I want my work to be connected with social
science
. I like social
science
at my school. My social
science
teacher is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
person. She really cares about us and our
future
and
trying
Wrong verb form
tries
show examples
to prepare us in the best way. I study social
science
a lot. I want to connect my life with it. I want to research statistics and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
data connected with people and our society. If I couldn’t get to university, I’ll try to become a 3d artist. It’s
really
Add an article
a really
show examples
creative profession. As
3d
Correct article usage
a 3d
show examples
artist
Add a comma
,artist
show examples
I want to create
Correct article usage
an enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environments
environment
for video games. I enjoy creating different locations and
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
about the history of the place I want to create.
Besides
work
Add a comma
,work
show examples
I think about my family and its
future
. I
excited
Add a missing verb
am excited
show examples
about my
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
future
. I want to find
beautiful
Add an article
a beautiful
show examples
wife and live happily with her.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: