IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

There have been many inventions in the human history, such as the wheel. Some people the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#inventions #history #wheel #people #internet
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history, substantial assets have been invented including the wheel. It is believed by some
people
 that the
internet
 is the foremost invention of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity. I mostly agree with
this
 suggestion because it provides freedom in
communication
 and supplies limitless knowledge to
people
.
Firstly
, web services ensure the best
communication
 opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 individuals.
Communication
 has become a vital phenomenon among
people
. Before the
internet
,
people
 had tried to get news and
responds
Replace the word
responses
show examples
 from their contacts via
mails
Fix the agreement mistake
mail
show examples
 and restricted telephone calls. In these circumstances,
people
 can text, hear and see each other with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
In addition
, many individuals have expanded their businesses
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 the simplicity of
communication
 thanks to the
internet
.
Therefore
, it is counted as the best invention in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
 sources present a vast of
information
whatever
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 individuals need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Many
people
 had been endeavoured to reach
information
 since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancient times, fortunately,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
 databases have ended up
Change preposition
in this
show examples
this situations
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
 as an open
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
. Each
users
Change to a singular noun
user
show examples
 of
web
Add an article
the web
show examples
 have been feeding these sources through their knowledge and experience.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 these occasions,
people
 can use
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
 for their studies and research or they can contribute sources with new
information
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others. Before the
internet
,
people
 had to give huge efforts to access new
information
.
Thus
, the
internet
 has taken place as a unique and precious asset in the sight of
people
. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
 suggestion. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there were
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
milestone inventions had been found
such
 as electricity and
steam
Correct article usage
the steam
show examples
 engine, in my opinion, the
internet
 is the most considerable breakthrough
due to
 its contribution
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
communication
 and reaching
information
 among
people
.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: