There have been many inventions in the human history, such as the wheel. Some people the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#inventions #history #wheel #people #internet

the

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apply

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history, substantial assets have been invented including the wheel. It is believed by some

people

that the

internet

is the foremost invention of

the

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apply

show examples

humanity. I mostly agree with

this

suggestion because it provides freedom in

communication

and supplies limitless knowledge to

people

Firstly

, web services ensure the best

communication

opportunities

Change preposition

for

show examples

individuals.

Communication

has become a vital phenomenon among

people

. Before the

internet

people

had tried to get news and

responds

Replace the word

responses

show examples

from their contacts via

mails

Fix the agreement mistake

mail

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and restricted telephone calls. In these circumstances,

people

can text, hear and see each other with

less

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fewer

show examples

efforts

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effort

show examples

In addition

, many individuals have expanded their businesses

Change preposition

through

show examples

the simplicity of

communication

thanks to the

internet

Therefore

, it is counted as the best invention in

the

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apply

show examples

history.

Secondly

the

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apply

show examples

internet

sources present a vast of

information

whatever

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

individuals need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. Many

people

had been endeavoured to reach

information

since

the

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apply

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ancient times, fortunately,

the

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apply

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internet

databases have ended up

Change preposition

in this

show examples

this situations

Change the determiner

this situation

these situations

show examples

as an open

library

Fix the agreement mistake

libraries

show examples

. Each

users

Change to a singular noun

user

show examples

web

Add an article

the web

show examples

have been feeding these sources through their knowledge and experience.

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show examples

these occasions,

people

can use

information

Add an article

the information

show examples

for their studies and research or they can contribute sources with new

information

for

the

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apply

show examples

others. Before the

internet

people

had to give huge efforts to access new

information

Thus

, the

internet

has taken place as a unique and precious asset in the sight of

people

. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with

this

suggestion. Even though

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apply

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there were

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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milestone inventions had been found

such

as electricity and

steam

Correct article usage

the steam

show examples

engine, in my opinion, the

internet

is the most considerable breakthrough

due to

its contribution

Change preposition

show examples

communication

and reaching

information

among

people

Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on Thu Mar 30 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There have been many inventions in the human history, such as the wheel. Some people the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries, people wear more Western-style clothes (e.g. jeans and T-shirts) than their traditional clothes. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

It has become very common for people to borrow money . Most of people have a credit card a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well . Is this goid idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while other think it is more important to reward students who show progress. Discuss both views and express your own opinion?