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Band 5.5

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientist in today’s world. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #scientist #today’s #world
We are presently living in the twenty-first century which is recognised as an era of technological advancement. The big question raised presently is which individuals constitute the top strata of
crowd
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the crowd
a crowd
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 on the ground of being important to
civilization
. Many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
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 believe that scientists play the most important role
whereas
 a plethora of family opine that
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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 are more essential. In my view nowadays
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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 have a bigger necessity than
Add an article
the artist
an artist
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artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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. First of all the inventions made by expert help in the progress of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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civilization
. To cite an example invention of the bulb was the first successful step of human civilisation to create an illuminating device that can help us see in the absence of the sun.
This
 contribution made by Thomas Alva Edison made our life easier ,unlike any entertainer.
Artist
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Artists
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 often
help
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helps
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 us feel happier in a gloomy atmosphere. Listening to songs sung by Celine Dion is one of my favourite hobbies
however
 I can not imagine having access to the music unless any music system was brought into existence.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 many musicians use musical instruments like
electrical
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electric
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keyboard
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keyboards
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 whose idea was developed by
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the analyst
an analyst
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analyst
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analysts
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. The second reason why I believe
Add an article
an artist
the artist
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artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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 should be given limited regard in
civilization
 is
because
Replace the word
that
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 they are repeatedly observed being involved in activities that are unacceptable
as well as
 filthy. To cite an example many movie stars are often observed consuming alcohol or smoking cigarettes. Today's youth often relate themselves to these actors and actresses as their role models. Continuous displays of alcoholism and smoking scenes on television often influence these folk to succumb to these activities without considering the harmful effects. 
To conclude
, I believe
community
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the community
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 should ensure that
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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 receive the wide recognition that they are entitled to because of their contribution to
civilization
. Recognition and accolades must be given to them for taking humanity forward with their continuous effort.
Submitted by anupriyahalder on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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