IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or collage lecturer.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or collage lecturer.
#graphs #show #figures #hours #stress #levels #professionals #eight #groups #information #university #collage #lecturer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the average number of
hours
 worked per
week
 by eight age groups (writers, doctors, chefs,
lecturers
, lawyers, movie producers, programmers and
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
) and the pie chart displays the percentage of
stress
 levels amongst those occupations.
Overall
,
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 work the most
hours
 every
week
whereas
lecturers
 suffer from the highest percentage of
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 illnesses. The bar chart reveals that the most number of
hours
 given to a job are by
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 with around 70
hours
 per
week
in contrast
 to
lecturers
 with the least
hours
 with just roughly 25
hours
 per
week
. Movie producers give the next highest number of
hours
 (approximately 60
hours
 per
week
). The rest of the occupations spend 40
hours
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 less every
week
 at work. The pie chart explains that 25% of
lecturers
 suffered from
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 illnesses making it the most common
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 occupation compared
programmers
Change preposition
to programmers
show examples
 being the least common with just 5%.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 highest are movie producers with 18%. The rest of the occupations were 11% or less.
Submitted by momina-98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, lecturers, stress with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: