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Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits
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 an egalitarian society offers better opportunities for reaching personal achievements.
In contrast
, many are of the opinion that individual goals benefit from a system that preserves the freedom to succeed or fail.
This
 topic is the theme of many political debates and it is very difficult to summarize the whole argument in a short essay. Egalitarians are of the opinion that Capitalistic freedom is creating a gap
that is
 impossible to reduce. From their point of view, a person who is born into a common family has far fewer possibilities than a rich-born human.
This
 could be
due to
 the fact that top-tier universities require huge annual fees that cannot be sustained by the majority of people.
According to
 them, money counts as much, sometimes even more, than merit does.
Thus
, success could be achieved only
due to
 luck. In their opinion, economic wellness concedes the right to fail more than once
while
 a normal person might struggle to recover from their first unsuccess. The other side of the discussion is formed by Libertarians. They state that a free human being has the possibility to create his own success and it is all up to him.
This
 means that a capable person is likely to succeed thanks to his skills and qualities
while
 an unsuccessful man has to blame himself for his failure. Personally, the right answer is a combination of the two points of view. A system that finds an equilibrium between equality and liberty would maximize the opportunities for most people and could reduce the unfair advantage that some of us got from borning in the right family.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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