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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

#countries #weight #people #level #health #fitness #measures
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Obesity is more common nowadays than it was in the past.
This
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 means that a huge amount of the population is at risk
as a consequence
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 of their weight increase.
This
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 data is even more dramatic considering a significant percentage of the affected individual are children. In
this
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 essay, I'll try to discuss the causes of
this
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 problem and propose some possible solutions. The rising average weight is mainly caused by unhealthy
food
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 consumption. We are getting too lazy to cook our meals. We are surrounded by fast
food
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 and we are eating their products very often. To make things worst, their mobile apps are continuously offering appealing coupons and discounts that reward people for their fidelity to their junk
food
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. On the marketing level, Fast-foods do a tremendous job in the promotion of their new burgers. In my opinion, junk
food
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 promotion should be banned as it is for tobacco products because it could deal incredible damage to people. Another cause of the issue is the lack of physical activity. We should work out more than we are actually doing. Part of the blame goes to the internet and smartphones because the new type of entertainment has quickly taken the place of healthier open-space activities. In
this
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 case, a way to contain the problem is to fund incentives for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gym
subscriptions
Correct the article-noun agreement
subscription
show examples
.
To sum up
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, we should consume healthier
food
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 and dedicate more of our free time to sports.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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