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Band 5.5

In many countries, art galleries visitors have been declining steadily. What are the possible reason? how to change this trend?

#countries #art #galleries #visitors #reason #change #trend
It is observed that
people
 are losing their interest in
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
 in recent times. Most
art
galleries
 have
also
 recorded that the number of visitors
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been declining
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
.
As a result
, most artists are getting increasingly concerned about
this
 development.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
 trend in detail and
also
 suggest some measures through which
this
 issue can be resolved.
Due to
 technological advancements in the
last
 two decades,
interest
Add an article
the interest
show examples
 of most
people
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 tilted towards computer and technology. They feel that their future will be prosperous if they invest their time and effort in
this
 subject given the pace at which technology developed.
This
 has made other subjects like
art
 and history extremely unpopular among
people
, especially the youth.
Furthermore
, the emergence of e-books and social media have been paintings easily accessible for those who are fond of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. A good illustration of
this
 is the fact that even the
world renowned
Add a hyphen
world-renowned
show examples
 painting of Mona Lisa can be viewed online. Given the situation, there are certain ways through which we can attract
larger
Add an article
a larger
show examples
 crowd to
art
galleries
.
Firstly
, the subject of
art
 should be made mandatory by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational institutes so that
people
 start to develop an interest in it. When
arts
 become popular within
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, more individuals will become keen to check various forms of
art
 and
as a result
, they will
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
art
galleries
 more often and
also
 in larger numbers.
In addition
, most
people
 often complain that the membership fee or entry fee to
art
galleries
 is incessantly high. Take Bradford Gallery of
Art
 as an example, their annual membership costs $500 per year which is unaffordable for the majority.
Therefore
, artists and organisers should address
their
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
 and make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 free of cost to students. To sum it up, the emergence of technology and
unpopularity
Correct article usage
the unpopularity
show examples
 of
arts
 as a subject is playing a major role
behind
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 development.
While
on the other hand
,
inclusion
Add an article
the inclusion
show examples
 of
arts
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary education and making
art
galleries
 free of cost will help in remediating
this
 issue.
Submitted by Mohammed Danishuddin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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