Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to

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some people, footballers and athletes are overpaid. Their wages are significantly higher than those of doctors, nurses and teachers. A similar argument is often made for other entertainment personalities. Personally, I disagree with

this

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opinion and I want to explain the reason why in

this

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essay. First of all, it is important to explain their point of view. Their opinion is based on the evidence that the contribution to society of doctors is more important than that of sports stars. The common idea is that their task is to save lives. Yet, a doctor earns a small portion of what an athlete does.

As a consequence

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, the payment of medical workers should increase

while

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entertainment personalities should get paid far less than they are getting paid right now.

In contrast

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, it is important to know that wages are not in order to state the level of impact of that job position. In fact, the amount of money we are getting for our work is determined thanks to economic models.

Moreover

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, the entertainment industry collects a huge amount of revenue thanks to television shares. The number of people that are connected to

this

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market is bigger than it may appear at

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first glance.

Therefore

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, it is normal that a football champion is far richer than a nurse. They are not getting paid for playing a match,

whereas

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, the huge wage is

due to

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the contribution to the whole market.

To sum up

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, doctors are very important but the fact that they save lives doesn't mean that they need to be paid more than those who score goals.

cast_pie01Fri Mar 31 2023

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task response

You need to address the task given more directly and provide a more balanced and well-organized argument.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clearly linked to the main body of the essay. Work on creating better coherence and cohesion between the paragraphs.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arys and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disgree?

The opinion on preserving endangered languages varies; while some believe that governments should invest in saving them, others consider it a wasteful expenditure. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most importance aim of science should be to improve peoples lives to what extent do you agree os disagree with this statements

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?