Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
According to
some people, footballers and athletes are overpaid. Their wages are significantly higher than those of doctors, nurses and teachers. A similar argument is often made for other entertainment personalities. Personally, I disagree with this
opinion and I want to explain the reason why in this
essay.
First of all, it is important to explain their point of view. Their opinion is based on the evidence that the contribution to society of doctors is more important than that of sports stars. The common idea is that their task is to save lives. Yet, a doctor earns a small portion of what an athlete does. As a consequence
, the payment of medical workers should increase while
entertainment personalities should get paid far less than they are getting paid right now.
In contrast
, it is important to know that wages are not in order to state the level of impact of that job position. In fact, the amount of money we are getting for our work is determined thanks to economic models. Moreover
, the entertainment industry collects a huge amount of revenue thanks to television shares. The number of people that are connected to this
market is bigger than it may appear at a
first glance. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, it is normal that a football champion is far richer than a nurse. They are not getting paid for playing a match, whereas
, the huge wage is due to
the contribution to the whole market.
To sum up
, doctors are very important but the fact that they save lives doesn't mean that they need to be paid more than those who score goals.Submitted by cast_pie01 on
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task response
You need to address the task given more directly and provide a more balanced and well-organized argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clearly linked to the main body of the essay. Work on creating better coherence and cohesion between the paragraphs.