IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each viewpoint and take a stand. Give specific reasons and examples for your position.

#people #amounts #money #stand #position
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Money
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 forms one of the cornerstones in an individual's
life
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. In
this
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 fast-paced world, meeting one's daily needs without cash is impractical.
Therefore
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, it is very important to consider whether acquiring a large sum of
money
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 or an optimal
amount
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 leads to a content
life
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. Without a doubt, I disagree with the statement and believe that making an adequate
amount
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 of
money
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 is rather satisfying than a large
amount
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. I strongly feel
this
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 way for two reasons, which I shall delve into in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, with great loads of
money
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 comes mental instability and disorders.
For example
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, I have read recently in a newspaper article that prosperous people with lots of capital can demonstrate depression, loneliness, and insecurity.
In other words
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, a person becomes more tensed and depressed with more finances.
Hence
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, having the right
amount
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 will enable one to persevere through hardships and adversities,
finally
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 leading a harmonious
life
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.
Moreover
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, earning a comfortable living enables a person to be content and happy. The lives of many affluent people with business practices are struggling to calm their frantic minds as they deal with the pressure of dealing with
a large sums
Correct the article-noun agreement
a large sum
large sums
show examples
 of
money
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.
At the end
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 of the day, if a person is able to acquire a good night's sleep, he is considered successful in
life
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.
Furthermore
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, rich people who have become prosperous often would have to sacrifice their personal and family time. So, even though they may have achieved economic gains, there is still an unbalance from their lack of mental and spiritual success.
Therefore
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 these reasons manifest the fact that earning an optimal
amount
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 of
money
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 is more satisfying than a huge
amount
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 Admittedly, there are few merits of having a large pile of hard-earned cash. Wise investments in stocks and foreseeable future ventures, will definitely gain a competitive edge and
also
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 reap a myriad of benefits.
To sum up
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, based on my expositions mentioned above, I hold the opinion that earning an optimal
amount
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 will help an individual to be more intellectual, as they learn more about
money
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 management and will think twice before investing.
Submitted by jestinjohnson.09 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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